Where I Begin
by PanChroma
Summary: I awoke. I have no true memories, past, clan, or identity. The only thing I seem to carry are questions. And despite my lack of understanding, one thing is clear: sleeping in one life, awakes me in another. This, is where I begin. Rated T for safety.


So basically, I'm testing out this story to see if it interests anyone...if not, then I have several other ideas to try out, which I may go ahead and post regardless. But for now, tell me whatcha think...in other words, **review.**

**Read. Enjoy. Review. :)**

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Chapter One

Shadows danced silently across my eyes, which remained closed in the wavering light. The wind gently brushed the leaves and branches of the surrounding trees, but other than the soft swaying above, and the scurrying of creatures below, all was calm and content. My shoulders twitched briefly, as if to stir the rest of my unmoving body. My paws shifted across the smooth earth, and I dug my claws deep, feeling the dirt give way. Should any day have been more welcomed in weather before this, I could not imagine.

For this was the day.

My jaws stretched wide in a yawn so refreshing it felt as if it were my first. Commanding my limbs, which had, before, felt stiff, I sat upright, and felt the full warmth of the sun on my fur. These sensations…the earth, the wind, the sun…all were as unnatural as the soul that sensed them. Scents and sounds alike were captured vividly by swiveling ears and parted jaws. The world around me opened with inviting promises of all I knew it had to offer.

Yes, this truly must have been the day.

"Leafstorm…?" a distant voice called from somewhere behind.

Immediately my eyes responded. It was then that the piercing, yet awe inspiring, view of my world struck me; the colors and shapes, all so familiar and at the same time, so very new. My paws itched to explore each plant, each tree, each creature…but the body that was mine would not comply. Instead, I turned to face the rustling undergrowth, my face ready to greet the approaching cat, and as my eyes met that of she who called me, I felt a warmth rise within my chest.

"There you are…" she spoke. Her voice flowed through me, and the emotion in her stunning green eyes held me captive where I stood. "Are you alright…?"

A soft chuckle escaped me, "I am now."

She smiled, her whiskers twitching in amusement. She was the most beautiful cat in all of ThunderClan, and further more, my mate. How this happened was lost to me, but I could know no greater truth then the love that swelled to overflowing.

"You grow stranger every day." She purred, pressing her muzzle to my own.

"Lightsong…?"

"Hmm…?" she replied, keeping her head pressed to mine.

"When did we fall in love?"

A _mrrow _of laughter escaped her as she pulled away. "What kind of question is that?"

I thought. "An honest one?"

Her head shook softly while her expression grew more playful. Sighing, she moved past me towards the roots of a nearby oak and settled among them. Using her fluffy white tail, she gently padded the open ground beside her, inviting me to join her. Pausing to take in the sight of her beauty, I obliged and rested as well, placing my paws among hers and setting my chin on her shoulder. A purr rose in my throat as her tongue softly tugged at the fur behind my ears.

"I suppose," she began, "we fell in love the night I collapsed near the lake. You must remember…I was an apprentice, as were you, and I snuck out of camp to see if I could see my mother among the stars. She had joined StarClan the day before, and I longed to be near her. In my grief, I had refused to eat or drink anything, making me weak, and before I knew it, I fainted along the shore."

The instance seemed to be something I'd remember, but no true recollection sprang to mind, so instead, I continued to listen; searching for any memory I could recall.

"Apparently, you had seen me leave, and were quick to follow. The next thing I knew, I was waking up to a pair of large yellow eyes." She meowed, a hint of a sigh lining her words. Clearly, she remembered what I could not, and in a way, far more so than I thought, it scared me.

Pressing my face into her soft white fur, I inhaled her scent, and let it wash over me, begging it to bring forth familiarity. Disappointment was all I found. Nothing…not this forest, not this she-cat, not even my own name, felt familiar; at least not in the way I knew it should. The realization that I knew nothing of my past, my clan, my own mate, was slowly creating a flood of panic within my heart. My mind choked to find recognizable thoughts, but all was lost to me…all except her name: Lightsong…that much I remembered on my own.

Sighing with effort, I let the fear drain away, lost to the wind which blew towards the lake. Lightsong placed her head atop mine and soon her breathing slowed to that of peaceful slumber. I loved her. That much could never be doubted. But why? How? When? All these doubts drowned my mind and I found that sleep would not claim me so easily. So instead, I allowed my mind to wander. Though my eyes were closed, I envisioned stars, brighter and more numerous than could've been possible. I knew them; each and every one, a cat, from some distant time…some forgotten age. They encircled me, whispering prophecies and omens. Their individual glows soon combined, creating a mass of light, which consumed the vision, and any thoughts I might've had…any guesses as to what it all meant.

I snuggled closer to Lightsong's warmth, wishing desperately to know all I didn't. Praying that somehow, after I awoke, things would be made clear…doubts would be forgotten. Silently, almost instantly, my mind stilled. The wind that tugged at my ginger fur lessened, and the world around me faded with my thoughts.

жЖж

The day I found myself, was the day I lost all control…and so I began.

жЖж

It was not so unwelcomed, when a paw prodded me awake. I was sure that the moment with Lightsong among the roots would not last forever. And so, when consciousness summoned me, I greeted her with heavy, but respondent eyes. However, the face that met me was not that of Lightsong's. It was a gray, tabby, tom with sharp green eyes. Around me, were nests filled with four young cats, and I knew instantly, as if suddenly thrust upon reality, that I was in the apprentice's den, surrounded by fellow ShadowClan apprentices.

"Blackpaw, you and I are joining the morning patrol." Stormwhisker, my mentor, whispered, careful not to wake the others. "ThunderClan have left the remains of stolen prey on our side of the border, we'll be heading over there soon."

My mind jolted for answers, surely I could not have dreamed of Lightsong, the bright forest, being a ThunderClan warrior; it all had been real…hadn't it? Stormwhisker padded off towards the gathering patrol, leaving me to collect my thoughts. I wanted more than anything to remember, to make sense of all I thought I knew to be clear. Focusing with deep breaths, I allowed any memory to enter my mind…anything that would sound reasonable.

I was a ShadowClan apprentice. I had two sisters, Pinepaw and Snowpaw. My mother's name was Doveshadow, and my father was the deputy, Owlcry. All seemed correct, but if Lightsong had been a dream, why had it all felt so real…so right? Shaking my coat to fight off the impending doubts, I gave my jet black fur a few quick licks. This was the dawn of a new day, and I was not about to allow mere dreams to get the better of me. Surely all would be explained; already I knew more about my life here, in ShadowClan, that I had known in the dream. Yes, this would be the true day.

Arching my back, I stretched the weariness from my limbs, and padded off towards my mentor. I was the only she-cat on the patrol, which struck me as particularly odd considering I had been a tom in the dream…but again, it was a dream; no more, no less.

Once we were gathered, I set out alongside my clanmates towards the ThunderClan border. I studied the pines that loomed about us, reaching high and giving shelter from the sun's Greenleaf heat, which would hit hard around sunhigh. As for now, the morning rays of dawn, seeped among the trunks, and bathed the air with a crisp scent. This was my home; surely things had always been this way. I allowed the pressing doubts to melt in the growing light. I was out to check the border with ThunderClan; I had little room for the foolish memory of my dream.

"I smell ThunderClan filth!" Swiftcrow, a large, smoky gray tom, hissed, halting the patrol as they reached the border. The stream that marked the division between ShadowClan and ThunderClan territory was shallow due to lack of rain, which would make an easy crossing for trespassing warriors.

"Those spineless kittypets think they can steal prey so easily?!" Dawnfeather snarled, digging her claws deep into the spongy soil.

I felt my fur begin to bristle, and watched as my clanmates, too, took notice of the ThunderClan scent as it drifted fresh across the stream. The undergrowth on the opposite bank rustled, and out stepped four ThunderClan warriors. My eyes glared across at them, moving over each form until reaching the last; I froze, eyes wide.

The fourth, a she-cat with vivid white fur and stunning green eyes, stood alongside her clanmates, tail puffed up in anger. _Lightsong…_ My emotions didn't stir as they had in the dream, but then again, so many things had changed. I wanted to understand, I wanted to know. Why was my world, my thoughts, my dreams and past all so unfamiliarly familiar? But my attention was reverted back to the confrontation before I could ponder anything further.

Swiftcrow released a horrendous screech as he leapt full speed across the pitiful stream. No words were exchanged, no warnings permitted, not even an explanation had been offered. The remaining patrol quickly followed suit, and knowing no better, I too flew into the fray. The ThunderClan warriors showed no signs of indignation as they countered the attack. _Did that make them responsible…?_ If it were true, then the attack from my clanmates was warranted. But we had no way of knowing…no proof other than the remains of fallen prey that had not been killed by ShadowClan, and were coincidentally near the ThunderClan border. No, this wasn't right. Where was the honor in fighting potentially innocent cats?

Although the majority of the patrol was locked in combat, I held back. My fur bristled, but with injustice, rather than anger. I couldn't fight them…I couldn't bring myself to be either who I was, or who I had been. In my heart I felt as if I belonged to both clans; as if I were both Blackpaw_ and _Leafstorm. Eyes wide with my internal struggle to decipher right from wrong, I was thrown into a sideways tumble by a blow to my shoulder. Catching my focus and forcing it into submission, I stood and faced my attacker.

"I suppose they haven't even taught you the warrior code…" Lightsong spat, her words shattering my allusion that this fight could simply be blamed on the heat of the moment. _What does she mean…?_

Before I could reply, she leapt towards me, claws glinting in the morning light. Her piercing green eyes flashed with hatred and disgust. Even as she hurled me to the ground with her claws digging deep and the sound of my fur and flesh being torn sounded in my ears, I couldn't convince myself, with any amount of persuasion, to fight back. Warriors fought only when necessary, and killed only as a last resort. Fighting back was unjustified…even as the scent of my own blood filled the air.

Lightsong proceeded to shove me aside, snarling with frustration. "Are you so terrified and weak that you cannot even fight back?!"

I could only stare at her, wishing she could understand how wrong everything inside me felt…wishing she could see the confusion that clouded my heart and mind. _The warrior code…that which every cat is meant to live and abide by…cast aside so coldly…this isn't right._

"Lightsong…" I whispered softly, more to myself than her.

But she heard. Her fangs disappeared and her muscles relaxed as her green eyes focused on me intently, but with an emotion that almost broke through to the meaning behind my reluctance. My thoughts spoke for me…of the honor that had been stolen from this battle…the justice that seemed lost to the hearts of those around us. And in truth, I believe she understood…or would have, if not for an interfering call from a familiar voice.

"Lightsong…!" Leafstorm cried, racing towards us. I glimpsed his ginger fur only moments before he slammed into my side. The wind rushed from my lungs, and my head swam as the ground rushed up to greet me. I let my conscious slip into darkness.

жЖж

The clans I had once known were gone, or dying…the code I had held close, was broken.

Thus, the second day.

жЖж

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I hope that caught someone's interest, and just as a heads up, I won't update unless I know of even just one person who'd care to continue reading.

Thank You. ^^


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